


Schemes and Sex

by mithrel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Blanket Permission, M/M, Podfic Welcome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-30
Updated: 2010-06-29
Packaged: 2017-11-02 19:16:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/372414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mithrel/pseuds/mithrel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gabriel’s bored, so he decides to start something. It turns into a matchmaking scheme. Written for the “pillow fight” square at <span class="ljuser ljuser-name_schmoop_bingo"></span><a href="http://schmoop-bingo.livejournal.com/profile"><img/></a><a href="http://schmoop-bingo.livejournal.com/"><b>schmoop_bingo</b></a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Escalation

It’s entirely too quiet. Sam is on his laptop. Dean’s sitting on the bed, the pieces of his gun scattered around him. He’s cleaning out the chamber while Cas sits on the floor near him, leaning against his legs.

Gabriel considers who would make the best target. Sam would glare and bitch about his laptop getting broken. Cas would just cock his head at him and stare. So he snaps his fingers, conjures up a pillow that’s at least three times as nice as the ones on the beds and hurls it at Dean’s face.

Dean yells and throws the gun-stock across the room. Sam tenses, leaping up from the chair. Damn trigger-happy Winchesters.

Dean stares at the pillow on the floor, then switches his stare to Gabriel. “Dude. What the fuck?”

Gabriel conjures up another pillow and throws it at him.

Dean’s face contorts into an expression halfway between rage and amusement. “Oh you are so gonna _pay_ for that!”

Gabriel snorts. “Bring it, Winchester!”

Dean throws the pillow at him, but Gabriel teleports out of the way and it hits Sam instead. “What the hell, Dean?”

Dean only grins at him, takes the motel pillow and throws it. Sam retaliates by throwing the pillow Gabriel had conjured.

Gabriel conjures several more pillows and soon the air is filled with feathers. Cas seems totally bewildered by the whole thing.

“I don’t understand what–” Cas stops to duck a pillow flying at him. At this point even Gabriel can’t tell who threw it.

“Aw, c’mon Cas, don’t be a spoilsport!” Dean wheedles, handing him a pillow.

“But what is the purpose of this activity?”

Gabriel snorts. “You need to see a proctologist to get that stick removed from your ass, bro!”

“I don’t understand that ref–”

Dean groans. “Cas, do you have to have an explanation for _everything?_ It’s just fun!”

Cas considers a moment, then takes a pillow and tosses it at Gabriel.

He was _not_ expecting that, and it hits him full in the gut. “Oof!” he coughs, then looks at Castiel, who seems unsure if he’s doing it right. Gabriel grins evilly. “Oh you’re going _down,_ bro!”

At some point Sam and Dean call a truce and team up, and not long after that Cas figures out that it’d be easier if he did the same, so it’s him and Gabriel against the Winchesters.

Then Sam gets a sly look on his face, takes his pillow and whacks his brother over the head with it.

Dean looks shocked at this betrayal. “Dude what the hell!” he complains, backing away as Sam keeps whacking him. “Help me out, Cas!”

Cas throws a pillow at Sam and gets him to back off, then helps Dean box him into a corner. He’s got surprisingly good aim for someone who’s never done this before. Sam’s laughing, and there’s more than a hint of a smirk on his face.

 _Ah, so that’s his game, is it?_ Sam’s in trouble though, unable to fend them both off, so Gabriel goes to his rescue, and they end up back-to-back, facing down their brothers.

Gabriel could do this until further notice, but Sam’s breathing hard against him and Dean’s face is beet-red. Even Cas looks a little tired, and when Sam throws a pillow at him he staggers back. Dean steadies him and Gabriel decides enough is enough. “Cease fire.”

Sam and Dean collapse on the beds and Cas sags against the wall. “Who won?” Dean demands.

“I wasn’t keeping score. But if we’re going by who’s the least winded it’d be me.”

“Screw that!” Dean says at the same time as Sam protests, “Not fair!”

He holds up his hands. “Fine, it’s a draw.”

Dean’s gotten up to straighten Cas’ trenchcoat, though, and Gabriel catches Sam’s eye, raising a brow.

Sam shrugs and grins.

Gabriel decides he likes the way Sam thinks. He’s not surprised he’s gotten tired of his brother and Cas dancing around each other, but he can’t help admiring how sneaky he is.

Gabriel might have done something like that himself.


	2. Until We Get it Right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel traps Dean and Cas in a time loop.

“Good idea there, Sammy.”

Sam looks over at Gabriel, trying to remember any ideas he’d had that Gabriel would consider “good.” Since he hasn’t done anything catastrophically stupid lately he can’t think of anything. “What idea?”

Gabriel shrugs. “The pillow fight.”

Sam’s brow furrows. “That was _your_ idea.”

“Yeah, but you were the one who decided to use it to try to get our clueless brothers together.”

Sam snorts. “It’d take something a hell of a lot more drastic than _that_ to get them together! They’ve been mooning over each other for _months!_ ”

Gabriel grins at him. “What did you have in mind?”

“Wait, I didn’t mean–”

“Why not?” Gabriel drawls. “It’d be for their own good.”

Sam thinks a moment, then a slow smile spreads across his face.

***

When Dean wakes up he’s alone in the motel room. _What the fuck?_ “Sam?”

No answer. He checks the bathroom, the parking lot and the Impala, and doesn’t see him.

_OK, think. He’d have left a note if he was gonna be gone long. So something must have taken him._

He pulls out his phone and dials Sam’s number. It’s a long shot, but he has to try everything. It goes straight to voicemail. _Dammit, Sam!_

He hangs up and dials Cas. “Cas, get over here. Sam’s gone!”

Cas is standing in front of him before he’s even hung up the phone. “Something strange is–”

“Did Sam tell you he was going somewhere?” Dean demands.

Cas shakes his head. “No. But Dean–”

“Then where the hell could he have gone?” Dean growls, opening the door again.

Cas’ words bring him up short. “Dean. Time is not behaving as it should.”

Dean stares at him. “Say what?”

“There has been an acceleration of the time in this location.”

Dean blinks. “Just here?”

“I am not certain.”

“Or is it just us? If we’ve been sped up and Sam hasn’t then that’d explain why he’s not here.” Or at least why Dean can’t see him. But what the fuck caused it?

Cas shrugs. “As I said, I am not certain. But we can attempt to ascertain the extent of the acceleration.”

Dean starts collecting his stuff from where it’s scattered around the motel room. “Come on then.”

***

There are people in the lobby when they check out, so they’re not the only ones who’ve been sped up.

They drive all day, but Cas says they’re still in the accelerated area. When it’s almost midnight, Dean pulls off the highway, blinking his gritty eyes.

He checks into a motel, stumbles into the room and falls asleep almost before he can take off his boots.

When he wakes up he’s back in the first motel. _What the_ fuck?!

Before he can even call, Cas is standing there. “It seems time has not only been accelerated, it is repeating.”

Dean bites back his instinctive, “No shit, Sherlock!” Instead he says, “How?”

Cas’ lips thin. “I recognize the signature now. It’s Gabriel.”

“Gabriel?” Dean repeats. “God _dammit,_ I knew we couldn’t trust that son of a bitch!”

And now he’s getting Cas’ Disapproving Glare. “He’s still my brother, Dean.”

“Yeah, well, your brother’s a dick,” Dean retorts halfheartedly, trying to figure this out. _If he’s trying to wear us into saying yes it should be me and Sam here, not me and Cas._

“He may not mean anything by it.”

“Dude, did Sam tell you about the time Gabriel stuck _him_ in a time loop?” Dean goes suddenly cold. Gabriel’s always had an unhealthy interest in Sam, and now God only knows what he’s doing. “How do we break it?” he asks urgently.

Cas shrugs. “Assuming Gabriel made it possible for us to break it, rather than deciding to leave us here indefinitely, it could be anything.”

“Great. Just great.”

There’s no point in checking out of the motel, since they’ll only end up back here tomorrow. “What do we do now?”

***

Some days they check out, but not often. It’s frustrating. Dean laments the fact that Gabriel’s managed to ruin one of the few things he still enjoys: driving down the highway with the radio blaring. It’s not the same without Sam bitching about his music anyway. Dean tries not to think of what Gabriel could be doing to him.

There’s only so many times he can clean his guns, even though they’ll need it again the next day. After a week even working on the Impala palls. Before, he’d always felt satisfied that he was doing something, keeping his baby from acting her age. Now it won’t matter one way or the other in twenty-four hours.

Cas is still hanging around. “Why are you here?” Dean asks him one day. “Why aren’t you looking for God?”

Cas twitches his shoulders in a shrug. “There’s no point.”

“Why not? If things reset every day, every time you check somewhere you can cross it off. Sooner or later you’ll narrow it down.”

“Except that this is not the real world. Gabriel created it, and he doesn’t believe our Father is out there. Even if I found Him He would not be my real Father.”

Dean hmphs. Cas does have a point. “What are we even supposed to be doing?”

“Waiting for Gabriel to get bored. He has a notoriously short attention span.”

“But you said the time was accelerated. So we’ll have to wait awhile.”

Cas nods.

“Dammit.”

***

After three weeks, Dean teaches Cas to play poker. He’s not very good; he can’t remember the scores and he has a habit of asking Dean what makes up a full house or a straight while they’re playing, so Dean has a fair idea of what cards he has.

After awhile though, he gets it down, and Dean never outbluffs him again. No one can beat Cas’ poker-face. Dean suspects he wasn’t bothering before, since he didn’t see the point, but they’ve been here more than a month, and even Cas must be getting frustrated and bored by now.

Dean takes to drinking a lot. Whenever Cas protests Dean points out that any damage won’t last. That’s the one upside to this situation: no hangovers.

One day Dean’s had a few beers, and he’s feeling slightly buzzed. “You’d be better off if you let Zachariah kill us.”

Cas frowns at him from across the table. “I was told to protect you.”

“Yeah,” Dean says, waving his arm, then grabbing at the edge of the table when he starts to slide off the chair, “But if we were dead there’d be no ‘pocalypse and you’d be fully-charged in Heaven. Could’ve even just let Sam die if you wanted to protect me.”

Cas’ frown gets deeper. “I know you well enough to know that if something happens to your brother you will stop at nothing until you fix it.”

Dean opens his mouth, then closes it again. Guy’s got a point. That’s what caused this whole goddamn mess in the first place. “What could I do against angels anyway?”

“I would not have you in pain,” Cas says fiercely, then, after a moment, “And I find I do not wish to go back to Heaven.”

“Bullshit.” Dean may be drunk, but he’s not stupid. He remembers having a home, a family, however vaguely, and how it felt having it ripped apart beyond repair. His home is gone and he still misses it. Heaven still exists, and it must tear Cas up not to be there.

Cas sighs. “Perhaps. Yet there are compensations to losing my Grace.”

Dean’s brow furrows. “What c’pensations?” A few years ago he might have said the same thing, that helping people was worth the nomadic lifestyle, the alienation, the constant fear of death, but not now.

Cas smiles sadly, and there’s something in his eyes, something Dean can’t place.

Cas leans forward and presses their foreheads together. It’s all Dean can do not to flinch back. He can feel Cas’ breath on his mouth (and since when do angels need to breathe?) It would be so easy to lean forward and press their lips together…

Dean jerks back. He’s not drunk enough for that to seem like a good idea. It’d change _everything._ They have too few allies to lose any, and he can’t afford to get in a relationship he’ll screw up. With one-night stands he doesn’t need to worry about that, but Cas is different. Even if they didn’t need him, he deserves better.

Cas looks at him for a moment, then nods to himself and vanishes.

***

When Dean wakes up on the forty-fifth morning, the one after Cas took off, he hopes Cas will be there. He’s not. Dean’s alone. He takes out his phone and looks at it, then puts it away.

After a week with Cas avoiding him he takes out the phone and calls. It goes to voicemail. “Cas, come…” his voice breaks. “Come back. I need to talk to you.”

Pathetic. He slams the phone closed.

He doesn’t hear from Cas that day, but it’s not like he can stay away forever. With the time loop they’re stuck with each other, which is another reason why he didn’t want to start anything. Cas has to come back sooner or later.

He revises that opinion as the days pass.

***

When Cas finally does come back he acts like the conversation never happened. Dean can get behind that.

“Man, when’s Gabriel gonna let us out?” he complains.

“There might be a trigger to break the time loop. Given that we are confined alone it would make sense that Gabriel wants us to do something.”

Dean gulps. “Do something?” The words conjure up the images that have been running through his dreams for weeks: Cas pressing their foreheads together, Dean leaning forward instead of jerking back and Cas opening to him…his hands biting into Cas’ biceps, pressing him down on the bed… He jerks his mind back to what Cas is saying.

“…could be anything. I confess I’m at a loss as to what it might be.”

Dean thinks he has an idea. Given the way Gabriel’s mind works… It isn’t happening, though. He’s not doing that.

Even if he wants to.

Even if Cas wants him to.

But no, he doesn’t know that. He’s already pulled the guy down from Heaven, he’s got no right to drag him into Hell.

 _Cas already went to Hell,_ part of his mind whispers. _To save you._

All the more reason for Dean to stay away from him. He was a bad influence before he even knew who Cas was. If Dean didn’t need him on their side, if it wasn’t his fault Cas was in this situation in the first place, Dean would tell him he’d be better off on his own.

“Dean?”

And Cas is too close again, all of Dean’s lectures about personal space disregarded in his concern.

Dean swallows. “Yeah, Cas, I’m fine.”

Cas peers at him narrowly for a moment, then presses their foreheads together again and seriously, what is it with that? Is it some weird angel thing? It’s uncomfortable, too intimate, and the worst part is that Dean doesn’t really mind.

He closes his eyes, shuddering out a breath, and Cas’ thumbs stroke over his cheeks.

Dean lets out a dry sob at that and Cas pulls back, takes Dean’s chin in his hand and kisses him softly.

It can’t even properly be called a kiss it’s so light, but Dean freezes anyway. This isn’t right, Cas shouldn’t, he can’t…

Dean suddenly realizes he’s sick of thinking about other people first. Cas is older than he can imagine, and he’s been thinking for himself for months now. And God knows Dean hasn’t encouraged this. He’s never had anything to call his own, something that he’d found, that wasn’t someone else’s first. And, yeah, Cas had belonged to Heaven first, and he certainly doesn’t belong to Dean now, but he’s offering this and Dean can’t help taking it.

He kisses back, and, as if now that he’s been given permission he’s going to do everything Dean allows, Cas’ hands grip Dean’s hips and pull him forward.

Dean gasps, pulling away, and Cas is tugging at his T-shirt, getting it over his head and off onto the floor. Dean pushes the trenchcoat off, and the suit jacket, then looks at Cas’ shirt and growls, because this is ridiculous.

Cas draws his hand down the front of his shirt and all the buttons are suddenly undone. Dean blinks at him. Cas is losing his mojo, he shouldn’t be using it for… But he pushes the shirt off too.

Cas moves over to the bed, pulling Dean with him. He sits down and toes off his shoes, then shucks off the rest of his clothes, and Dean swallows hard.

Cas leans their foreheads together again, and this time Dean feels him in his head, not _doing_ anything, but it doesn’t matter. He jerks back, instinctively.

Cas frowns at him. “Dean…”

“No. Stay outta my head!”

“I have seen your soul. What is it that you wish to hide?”

And that’s true. He doesn’t have any secrets from Cas. But that’s not the issue here.

“Dean. Do you trust me?”

He does. God he does, more than anyone except Sam, but… “Yes.”

Cas moves forward, then Dean feels the presence in his head again. _I will never hurt you._

And it’s all Dean can do to keep from flinching back again, because with the words comes a glimpse of what Cas _is_ , older than time and cold as the stars, not unfeeling but so _alien…_

 _I will never hurt you,_ Cas repeats, and Dean knows it’s the truth, _feels_ it, feels the way Cas is conflicted about so many things but absolutely certain of this, of Dean. It’s awe-inspiring, and frankly terrifying.

 _I know._

Cas’ breath catches when he says…thinks?...that and Dean presses forward to kiss him again.

Cas is still in his head, but it’s not weird anymore, not invasive. He draws his hands down Cas’ back and he gasps again.

Dean’s paralyzed, unable to do anything, but he doesn’t need to. Cas pushes him down on the bed and fumbles his jeans open, and since when does he know anything about sex?

_I have no practical experience. This does not mean I do not know how it is done._

Dean swallows at that, both at the fact that Cas isn’t speaking aloud and the fact that he’s apparently been playing voyeur with the humans. He’d have expected that from Gabriel, but not Cas.

But he apparently does know how it’s done, since he leans down to suck on Dean’s neck. Dean’s fingers twitch where they’re resting on Cas’ shoulders, and Cas makes a small noise into his shoulder.

Cas moves along Dean’s collarbone and down his chest, stopping to lick over a nipple. Dean arches up, and Cas does it again.

 _Cas, Cas, holy fuck, Cas…_ He’s not projecting that, but Cas apparently picks up on it anyway, since he smiles against his skin and licks a line down to Dean’s navel, where he seems perfectly happy to stay.

Dean’s not, though, and he arches up again, vaguely annoyed. This isn’t how it’s supposed to go. Not that he’d thought about having sex with Cas before they were trapped here, but Dean’s the one with all the experience. Cas has never done this before. He shouldn’t be the one driving Dean crazy.

Cas chuckles, and Dean would kill him except the vibration distracts him. “Cas, _please!_ ”

Yeah. _So_ not how it’s supposed to go.

Cas works his jeans down and off, then pulls his boxers down, so slowly Dean knows he’s doing it on purpose.

But when Cas finally sucks him down, he doesn’t mess around, and Dean would swear he’d done this before, except he knows he hasn’t. Cas sucks him for a little while, then moves up to mouth at the head, then pulls off entirely to lick and kiss along it.

When Cas moves down to lap at Dean’s balls, he arches up and takes hold of Cas’ hair, pulling hard enough to hurt like fuck if Cas was human.

Cas sucks him down again, working his fingers into his mouth along with Dean’s dick, and he has a moment to wonder what he’s doing before Cas is reaching back and behind and pushing in…

Dean jerks forward, because, OK, he was _not_ expecting that. Cas is looking for something, though, moving his fingers around.

When Cas finds his prostate Dean groans and comes down his throat.

After a few moments when Dean just lies there trying to remember how to breathe, he looks down at Cas, then pulls him up and kisses him.

When he reaches between them, though, he finds that Cas is soft, and sticky. Dean gapes at him. “You came already?” How had he missed that?

“I was sharing your thoughts,” Cas replies, and, OK, yeah, maybe that makes sense. Still, he’s disappointed that he didn’t get the chance to return the favor, didn’t get the chance to see Cas’ face when he came.

Cas smiles at him softly. “You will.”

Dean sighs and puts his arm around him, pulling the covers up.

***

The next morning, someone opens the door.

Dean bolts upright, Cas making a protesting noise next to him, to hear “Jesus _Christ!_ ” from the doorway.

Dean blinks. “Sam?”

“Yeah. God. I’m leaving now. Please have some clothes on when I get back.”

It’s only after the door closes that Dean realizes. Sam’s back. Or rather, _they’re_ back. They broke the time loop.

“God _damn_ Gabriel!” But he can’t be too angry, since Cas has plastered himself against him like some kind of Velcro octopus. He reaches down and shakes him. “Hey.”

Cas blinks his eyes open and smiles sleepily. “Good morning.”

“We did it. We broke the time loop.”

Cas’ brow furrows, but all he says is. “Oh.”

Dean looks down at himself and makes a disgusted noise. He hadn’t bothered to clean up last night, since he thought it wouldn’t matter. Now he’s covered with sweat and feeling disgusting. Cas must be even worse off. “You want a shower?”

Cas shakes his head. “It’s not necessary.”

Whatever. Rather than arguing (he can always convince him later) Dean says, “Suit yourself,” gets up and heads into the bathroom, conscious of Cas gazing appreciatively at him as he goes.

***

Sam gives them half an hour, just to be safe. He goes to a coffee shop and gets a Danish, then heads back.

Gabriel shows up as he’s about to knock on the door.

Dean’s sitting on the bed waiting for him. Cas isn’t in sight, but the shower’s running. Dean glowers when he sees Gabriel. “You son of a bitch, why the hell did you trap us in a time loop? How long were we gone anyway?” he shoots at Sam.

“Two weeks.” He knows it was longer for Dean, but he hadn’t wanted to wait however long it would take them to figure it out, even left alone together, so he’d had Gabriel accelerate things.

“What the hell did you think you were doing?” Dean growls at Gabriel.

Sam gulps, wondering if Gabriel is going to tell Dean it was his idea, but he only smirks and comes up behind Sam to wrap his arm around him and rest his hand on his hip. Sam swats it away, absently.

Dean’s expression turns murderous. “You bastard, you got us out of the way so you could seduce him!”

“And what about you?” Gabriel shoots back. “Deflowering my little brother!”

Cas comes out of the bathroom, already dressed but still toweling his hair, in time to hear that.

“Don’t pull that with me! That was what broke the loop. You _planned_ on it!”

“Well,” Gabriel drawls, shooting a glance at Sam, “That and other things.”

Dean lunges at Gabriel, but Cas grabs him before he can get himself turned into something repulsive, spins him around, and both of them disappear.

Sam blinks. “Uh. What?”

Gabriel grins at him. “I think they just went on their honeymoon.”


	3. Killing Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Y’know,” Gabriel drawls lazily, “I did a porn once.”

Sam’s on his laptop, not doing anything, just trying to kill time. It's been three days, but he’s resigned himself to a long wait. “You sped up the loop, right?” he asks Gabriel.

“By a factor of five,” Gabriel assures him from where he’s lounging on Dean’s empty bed.

So they won’t be waiting here for months, which is good. He’s still expecting to be here awhile though. This is Dean, after all.

“Impatient already?” Gabriel asks him.

“No, it’s just…I mean we’re not on a case. I don’t have anything to _do!_ ” He’s already run a virus scan, defragged his hard drive (twice) and reorganized all his bookmarks by type of creature.

“There’s always porn.”

Sam grimaces. “No thanks.” He was never really that into porn; that was Dean’s department.

“Hey, porn is an _art._ ”

“Uh-huh, sure.” He is _not_ having an argument with an archangel about the merits of porn. Every time he thinks his life can’t get any more surreal…

“It is! Normal sex isn’t sexy at all, except to the people involved!”

And Sam supposes he has a point, but he’s not gonna get into this. “Mm.”

“Y’know,” Gabriel drawls lazily, “I did a porn once.”

“Are you expecting me to be shocked?”

“You wanna see it?”

Sam looks over to see Gabriel holding out a DVD. “What? Ugh, no!”

“Oh, come on! I can almost guarantee you’ll be interested!”

Sam sighs. Gabriel’s like a four year old, wearing you down until he gets the answer he wants. “ _Fine!_ ”

He takes the DVD and pops it in his laptop, with a mental apology. The standard legal disclaimer comes up, followed up a blonde in impractical shoes and not much else lying on a bed. There’s a knock on the door. “Room service!”

Sam rolls his eyes at the cliché. “ _This_ is art?”

“Just wait.”

Gabriel opens the door, in a waiter’s outfit complete with porn ‘stache. “I’ve got the kielbasa you ordered.”

Sam snorts. “Seriously?”

Gabriel shushes him.

“Polish?” the blonde asks.

“Hung-garian.”

Sam gives an incredulous laugh. “I’m not watching this!” He stops the DVD, but it keeps playing.

Gabriel makes out with the blonde for a minute, before he turns around and faces the camera. “Sam. Dean. You’re probably wondering what the hell’s going on.”

“I am now.” Sam turns and looks at Gabriel, who smirks at him.

The Gabriel on the screen peels off his mustache and says, “Well, if you’re watching this, I’m dead.”

Sam looks over at the real Gabriel, who looks pleased. “Say what? No you’re not! What the hell?”

Gabriel made a dismissive motion. “It was just an insurance policy, for when I went up against Lucifer. He taught me everything he knows, you know. Lucky I picked up a few tricks from my pagan friends.”

“…but, you can trap him,” the Gabriel on the screen is still speaking. “The cage you sprung Lucifer from, it’s still down there. And maybe, just maybe, you can shove his ass back in.”

“We know all this already,” Sam says.

“Like I said, it was insurance, in case he did manage to kill me.”

“You left us a message on a porn DVD?” Sam demands incredulously. Still, he guesses it’s somewhat fitting.

“Why not?”

He watches Gabriel deliver the rest of his message, as the blonde looks on from the background. “And Dean, you were right. I was afraid to stand up to my brother,” he says as the blonde starts chewing on his ear.

“You’re actually admitting that?” Sam asks.

“Hey, I figured if he saw this I’d already be dead, so what’s it matter?”

“So this is me. Standing up,” Gabriel-on-the-screen says, and does, then continues, “and this is me lying down.”

Sam rolls his eyes and goes to shut the laptop, but Gabriel stops him. “It’s just about to get good.”

Sam snorts. “Watching you have sex with some bimbo is not my idea of a good time.”

“Well then, what is?”

“Like I’d tell _you!_ ” Sam retorts.

But the DVD is still playing, despite his words, and he can’t quite bring himself to turn it off. And Sam can’t help noticing that most of his attention isn’t on the blonde.

Gabriel’s suddenly right up behind him, breathing in his ear, “Like what you see, Sammy?”

He jumps up from the computer. “ _Jesus!_ ”

Gabriel smirks at him. “Not exactly.” His eyes rake downward, to where Sam has the beginnings of an erection pressed against his jeans.

“So what?” Sam mumbles defensively. “It’s porn. I’m twenty-seven, I’m gonna react.”

“Uh- _huh._ ”

“Fuck off!” Sam snarls, then regrets his choice of words, since Gabriel’s smirk turns into a grin. The damn DVD’s still playing, and the noises coming from it aren’t helping his erection go down.

Gabriel comes toward him and says, “We’re gonna be here for awhile. Might as well find a way to pass the time.”

“I’m not having sex with you because I’m bored!” Sam squawks.

“How about because you want to?” Gabriel asks, then grins slyly. “And don’t bother telling me you don’t. I know better.”

Sam opens his mouth to do it anyway, only to have it plugged by Gabriel’s tongue. He squawks again, and flails, before Gabriel steadies him.

Gabriel’s mouth is cold. Sam tries to push him off, but he’s immovable. It’s like kissing a glacier.

Gabriel makes an amused noise against his mouth and pulls back. “I’m better. Your tongue wouldn’t stick to me.”

And that sends Sam’s brain all kinds of places he did _not_ give it permission to go. Gabriel chuckles again and licks behind his ear. Sam whimpers.

“Still sure you don’t want to have sex with me, Sammy?”

“It’s Sam!” The only person who gets to call him Sammy is Dean, and then only because he can’t do anything about it.

“Sam,” Gabriel agrees, but he’s smirking. “So, what’s it gonna be?”

“Go away!”

Gabriel’s hand drifts down and cups him through his jeans. Sam whimpers again and pushes forward before he can stop himself. “You sure?”

“ _Yes!_ ” But it comes out a moan, and when Gabriel opens his jeans Sam doesn’t stop him.

Gabriel strokes him, softly, fluttering his fingers under the head, and Sam moans. “Gabriel…”

Gabriel grins at him and pushes him toward the bed. He shoves Sam down onto it and snaps his fingers.

Sam yelps as his clothes disappear. “Gabriel!”

“Relax, they’re in your bag.”

“Still not fair.” He’s suddenly acutely aware of the power imbalance here, in a way he wasn’t before. The fact that he’s naked while Gabriel’s fully-dressed is only the beginning.

“Life’s not fair, didn’t anyone ever tell you that?”

Sam sits up, but Gabriel starts attacking his throat and pushes him down again while he’s distracted.

“If you really don’t wanna do this tell me now.”

Sam swallows but doesn’t answer.

Gabriel grins at him and slithers down his body.

Sam opens his mouth to ask him just what the hell he thinks he’s doing, before he doesn’t need to anymore.

Gabriel sucks him down, massaging the underside, pulling back to flutter his tongue under the head, swirling his tongue around and Jesus _Christ,_ he’s never had a blowjob like this in his _life._

Gabriel pulls off and smirks up at him. “I should hope not.”

“Stop doing that!” Sam complains, referring to the mind-reading.

“Well if you want.” And Gabriel pushes off the bed.

“God _damn_ you!”

Gabriel chuckles. “Not likely.”

“Gabriel…” And he’s not whining, absolutely not.

Gabriel leans back and crosses his arms, smirking. “Something you want, Sammy?”

“It’s Sam!”

Gabriel shrugs. “Whatever.”

Sam grinds his teeth. He’s sitting here naked and frustrated, with Gabriel apparently totally unaffected and looking entirely too amused at his expense. “Gabriel–”

Gabriel apparently decides he’s made his point, since he pushes Sam back down and licks around his balls before deep-throating him with no warning.

“ _Jesus!_ ” Sam gasps and arches off the bed, fisting his hands in Gabriel’s hair as he swallows around him. Gabriel hums around him and Sam moans and comes down his throat.

He lies there, panting, staring up at Gabriel, who smiles down at him wolfishly. “Not fair.”

“Oh, we’re not done yet.”

Sam gapes at him. He doesn’t think he can _manage_ anything after that. He’s only human, after all, even if Gabriel’s not.

Gabriel grins at his expression and sits down to take off his boots. He peels off his jacket and shirt and opens his jeans.

He’s not making a big production out of it, but the fact that he’s bothering to undress at all, rather than snap his clothes off like he did Sam’s is telling. Sam can’t help staring as Gabriel stands up to take off his jeans. And apparently he isn’t as unaffected as Sam though.

Gabriel stands facing him for a long moment, hands loose at his sides, completely unselfconscious, letting Sam look.

Then he moves down between Sam’s legs again, and Sam’s going to point out that he won’t get a reaction, but Gabriel ignores his now-flaccid cock and moves down and back.

“ _Ngh!_ What…what the fuck are you doing?”

“Could use my fingers,” Gabriel says, pulling back. “This way’s more fun.”

As Gabriel leans down again Sam’s dick twitches. He moans, not sure if he wants to squirm away from Gabriel’s tongue or toward it. His rational mind is screaming that this is disgusting, that Gabriel’s apparently going to fuck him, which he never agreed to, but the rest of him isn’t listening.

He suddenly feels a shivery, liquid sensation go through him, and he’s hard again. “What the…”

Gabriel pulls off him. “You’re welcome.”

He snaps a bottle of lube out of nowhere and pushes two fingers inside Sam.

“You…you can’t do that,” Sam gasps.

Gabriel cocks his head at him. “Why not? Don’t you want me to?”

“It… _ngh_ …it doesn’t matter whether I want to or not, I’ve never done this before, it’s not physically possible! You can’t just…”

“Sure I can. Because I’m just that awesome.”

Sam gives up. He gives up. Fuck it, fuck arguing, fuck everything. Gabriel won’t listen to him anyway.

Gabriel snorts. “He finally gets it.”

“I thought I told you not to read my mind.”

“And I thought you understood that I’m not going to listen to you,” Gabriel retorts.

Sam’s response dies into a moan as Gabriel finds his prostate. “Fuck…”

“That is the idea.”

Gabriel pulls back, slicks up his cock and slides in all at once.

And it shouldn’t be possible, it should hurt like hell, especially with Gabriel not giving him time to adjust, but it doesn’t. His body just opens up to accept the intrusion like he’s been doing this for months.

Gabriel pulls out and thrusts in again, and Sam’s hands claw at his shoulders.

Gabriel gasps. “Fuck… _Sam!_ ”

Sam looks at him, but it doesn’t seem like he’s in pain, so he does it again and Gabriel moans. It takes a minute to click. _Wings…_

Gabriel leans down to kiss him, but Sam shoves him away. “Dude, gross.”

Gabriel laughs breathlessly. “Germs can’t survive in angels’ bodies. You’re not going to catch anything.”

“But–” Sam’s cut off by Gabriel’s lips pressing against his. And he can’t taste anything but mint, so he kisses back, as Gabriel keeps thrusting.

Gabriel pulls back, biting at his shoulder. “Do you have…any… _idea?_ ” he gasps. “Any _fucking_ idea…?”

Sam has no clue what he’s talking about, but he can’t care at the moment, because Gabriel reaches down and wraps a hand around him and _squeezes_.

He gasps and comes in Gabriel’s fist, and Gabriel gives a long, shuddering moan, like he’s being torn apart, and slaps a hand over Sam’s eyes.

Sam feels Gabriel convulse against him and there’s a flash of light, a _whoomph_ and a crash.

When Gabriel takes his hand away Sam shoves him off him. “What the hell was that?!”

Looking around, he finds the source of the crash. The lamp on the table near the door is on the floor, in pieces.

Gabriel looks almost sheepish. “Uh, yeah, sorry about that.” He snaps his fingers and the lamp is whole again.

Sam gives him a _What the fuck_ look and laughs incredulously. “I can’t believe we just did that.”

“Killed most of the afternoon, didn’t it?”

“Yeah, but there’s still tomorrow,” Sam says, with a sidelong look at Gabriel.

Gabriel grins at him.


End file.
